Reviewed by Andy Bowers
Rating: 8.5 Beans
weet Jesus. You wonder why big studio execs get tossed quicker than a chef salad at Ponderosa in Hollywood. Dumb decisions, that’s why. Huge, ugly, shot-gun in your mouth decisions.
The Armani clad bone-head who green lighted this travesty is probably serving curly fries to bus-loads of seniors at the local Arby’s as we speak (it’s homecut or nothin’).
I’ve heard the outlandish stories regarding the insane amount of money that got dumped into Monkeybone and in all honesty I have to wonder out loud “Where the Hell is it?” Brendan Fraser, coming off the commercial success of the original Mummy and the critical kudos of Gods and Monsters, no doubt got lavished with cash to portray Stu, the introverted creator of the soon to be world famous toon’ simian – Monkeybone.
Stu’s got it all. A beautiful fiancé (poor, poor, Bridget Fonda – was Lake Placid not enough?) a rabid agent bent on commission of epic proportions (Kids in the Hall’s Dave Foley – his last movie was Blast from the Past wasn’t it? – so not really a sad follow up) and an imagination that has manifested itself in an irritating, sociopathic lounge monkey.
Ironic, but that’s what the movie balloons into. An irritating mess that won’t go away. Loitering in your brain, clawing at the chalkboard and chewing tin-foil at the same time. Imagination is good. Overindulgence is bad. Loud is even worse.
Whoopi Goldberg, on hiatus from Hollywood Squares (never a good sign – ever) shows up as death (but doesn’t take this movie with her), SNL’s Chris Kattan as an un-dead gymnast with a broken neck (it’s funny – get it?) and, well… ah crap. Who cares? Monkeybone is from the fertile animated mind of director Henry Selick (A Nightmare Before Christmas) who
should stick to stop-motion animation and leave the live action films to those who can (this flick is like touring Wil Vinton Studios and the Jim Henson Creature Shop while on a bad acid trip).
Blending of theses two forms can result in one of two scenarios. Good movies like those sweet Ray Harryhausen epics (Sinbad) and then a flick like Monkeybone, being a distant (can you measure in light years?) second. Don’t touch this monkey. I just wanted to spank it…. Until it was dead.
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