Reviewed by Jenny LeComte
Rating: 8.5 Beans
mpty-headed fashion designers, brain dead models, "beautiful people'', "ladies who lunch'' and a smart, sassy, cutting-edge director.
Put them all together and you have a must-see movie, right? Wrong. If you go to a video shop and see a copy of Robert Altman's hideous "Pret-a-Porter'', run screaming in the opposite direction.
While Altman's penchant for disjointed storylines and endless cameo appearances by big stars added charm to "The Player'' and "Short Cuts", it wears pretty thin in "Pret-a-Porter".
I think this is because the "big stars'' making cameos in this flick are mainly fashion models who have trouble stringing two words together. Witness Wonderbra babe Eva Herzigova's embarrassingly wooden performance at the recent Sanremo Music Awards in Italy. (Daahling, if you are going to host a major music festival, please learn your lines first).
The plot of "Pret-a-Porter"...wait, there is no plot. I cannot possibly pass comment on something which doesn't exist. Next subject, please.
The acting in "Pret-a-Porter"...wait, there is no acting. The fashion show regulars like Sophia Loren and Lauren Bacall, the designers like Sonia Rykiel and Thierry Mugler, the models like Helena Christensen and Naomi Campbell are just being themselves. Vaucous, arrogant and empty-headed.
The humour in "Pret-a-Porter"...well, there isn't any. Apart from a running (rather, limping) gag about a guy with a huge lump of dog turd stuck to his shoe.
I'm running out of options here. I haven't got a single good thing left to say about "Pret-a-Porter." Except maybe the sets were great?
Nah. The literal translation of "Pret-a-Porter" ("Ready To Wear''), should be changed to "Ready To Puke''. Please, can somebody call the fashion police?
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