Reviewed by Ned Daigle
Rating: 5 Beans
hen discussing film genres, the movie milestone that gets the ball rolling is usually the best (i.e. "Halloween" which started the teenybopper slasher craze). But in the case of the Teen Sex Comedy, that isn't the case. In fact, I can't think of any flick in this genre that would be considered "good", some I enjoy in a perverted way, but none I would actually defend. "Porky's" is the film that started it all, and I have to say, it isn't much.
When I saw "Porky's" about 14 years ago, I thought it was hilarious raunchy fun (but being only 13 at the time, it didn't take much to titilate), but having watched again recently, I now realize it is really really boring.
It is the 1950's and all of the high-school boys are perpetually in heat. The line "I gotta get laid!' is uttered about 100 times and usually by our "hero" Pee Wee, who is obsessed about the size of his manhood. Anyway, the movie is basically a series of would-be comic sketches involving either (A) trying to get laid or (B) getting laid but with embarrassing consequences. Either you laugh (which many probably still do), or cringe (which I did a lot). Oh youth, we hardly knew ye!
Let's see if I can run down a few of the choice moments in hilarity: Pee-Wee is introduced sleeping with a hard-on which he measures and discovers "It's shrinking!"; many of the boys travel to a cabin so they can bed prostitute Cherry Forever but as a practical joke, a black man chases them with a machete so that they are picked up naked by the cops; a gym teacher beds a female teacher in the boys locker room and discovers why she is nick-named Lassie (she howls like a dog until he stuffs a jock-strap into her mouth); one boy runs around campus with an inflated condom jamming it into girls' crotches; and another guy sticks his penis through a peep-hole in the girls shower only to have it nearly torn off by the evil lesbian gym teacher known as Ms. Ballbreaker. Ho, ho, ho.
I guess director Bob Clark wanted to not only have a queasy teen sex-fest, so he threw in a serious sub-plot involving anti-Semitism and child abuse.
To be fair, I still grinned a few times, but didn't find nearly enough to be amused about. What I suppose was once shocking and cutting-edge, is now pretty static and lame. Granted, "Porky's" is not nearly as awful as the movies it spawned (such as "Joysticks", "Takin' it Off", "Fraternity Vacation", "Spring Break", "Screwballs" and countless others.)
For my money, I'll just rent the sequel "Porky's 2: The Next Day". Because it was really funny.
At least it was when I was 13.
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