Paper Boy, The
Reviewed by Jason Coffman
Rating: 8 Beans
ny movie which features a red-haired little boy banging his head against a wall and saying "God hates stupid children!" is an instant classic in my book.
Marc Marut plays Johnny, a young man with some issues to deal with. He is shown riding his bike, delivering papers in his neighborhood during the opening credits. In the next scene, he strangles some old lady. Oh well. Anyway, it turns out that this little incident of juvenile malfeasance is the first step in Johnny's master plan to snag himself a family.
Enter Melissa, played by Alexandra Paul (formerly of "Baywatch"). As it turns out, the old lady Johnny killed was Melissa's mother. Melissa comes to town and Johnny starts putting on a painfully sweet "friendly paperboy" act, which eventually gets him banned from Melissa's home.
This does not sit well with our young friend Johnny, who then goes wacky, what with his killing of people and all. Some of the other inhabitants of the small town Johnny terrorizes include Melissa's love interest Brian (William Katt, you know, The Greatest American Hero) and Mrs. Rosemont, who serves as the great American cinematic standby, the Character Who Knows How Evil The Boy Is But No One Listens To. The fact that Mrs. Rosemont is played by Frances Bay ("Gramma" from "Happy Gilmore," the weird old lady ghost from "Twin Peaks") only helps things out, as in a "nightmare" sequence, she gets to hold a flashlight up under her face and shout "He's EVIL!"
The bottom line? If you're looking for a terrible suspense film, "The Paperboy" delivers!*
*(I've always wanted to write for the National News Syndicate.)
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