Reviewed by Chris Bjuland
Rating: 8 Beans
nternational intrigue and explosive action, mixed with Bruce Willis and Richard Gere, add up to a movie with more holes than the United States/Mexican border.
Bruce Willis is the Jackal, an international assassin, who is an expert at moving about the world unobserved. He moves about the world on his current mission (for the price tag of $70 million), changing his appearence, his voice, and even the color of his minivan; to deliver a public message, soaked in blood, that will strike fear into the hearts of the enemies of those that hired him.
Sounds good? It does until you watch the opening scenes drag on and on. It does until Irish leprecaun Richard Gere starts talking. It does until you watch scene after scene of Willis (a master of disquise, but always looking like Willis, go figure) talking to his speak-and-spell computer, buying heavy weaponry, and dealing with a sterotypical gen-x'er slacker genius slob fat boy. It does until they throw in an old love interest of Mr. Lucky Charms, who's love for each other can see them through the upcoming hard times, but which also dooms them to have no future together, only a past. It sounds good until you see every stupid fbi agent assigned to the case do stuff that no agent in their right mind would ever do (like take out the garbage while waiting for the Jackal to show up in their "trap").
The audience is expected to go though so many unplausable scenses, that I felt like I was watching a James Bond flick. Weapons transport themselves across crowded vistas with the ease of a Star Trek transporter. Police and FBI agents (and crowds) disappear at presisely the times when those cops would appear. Terrorist actions? Hostage situations? Looks like it's time to hit the Dunkin' Doughnuts shop and let an expert (like Richard Gere) handle the situation...
There are plenty more characters than Richard and Bruce. But they don't server much purpose other than fleshing out the screen and provided convient targets for someone to shoot at. Sidney Pointier stars (ha!) as Deputy Director of the FBI Carter Preston. I can only hope that the real FBI doesn't operate this way (but if the news reports are even half true, than guess what kids? You just paid money to see a big screen version of "Cops", minus the action and car chases and the blue suited wondermen and the flashlight journeys into America's seediest apartment complexes).
This movie is a remake of the 1973 "The Day of the Jackal" and is based on the book by Frederick Forsyth. Not that any of this matters. For those of you expecting "Die Hard", I can only say this: I hope this movie dies hard and with a vengence, leaving room for another shit-pie hollywood bad movie production to grace the silver screen.
Other reviews for this movie:
Ken M. Wilson