Father of the Bride Part II
Reviewed by Brendan McBride
Rating: 9.5 Beans
t's difficult for me to say why I hate this movie so much. It could be because it stinks so profusely. On the other hand, it could be the fact that my wife has subjected me to it on at least a dozen occassions as it seems to be playing on continuous loop on The Movie Channel. By the way, on account of their repeated use of this film to torture me, I hereby retract anything good I ever said about The Movie Channel (except, of course, anything that has to do with "women in prison" movies. TMC is still good for that!).
Anyway, this movie takes every irritating part of the first movie, multiplies it tenfold and comes up with a whole host of new ways to irritate viewers. First, the voice-overs by Steve Martin, which were a distraction in the first movie, make up about half of the film here. Why bother to make a movie if you're just going to have a character recite the plot over a bunch of disassociated scenes? Show us, don't tell us. If I wanted to read the novel "Father of the Bride II" I wouldn't go to the movie theatre, I would go to my local bookstore where I would promptly shoot the clerk for working in a store that sells a "Father of the Bride II" novel.
Second, what's up with Steve Martin's son in these movies? Matty Banks, played by Kieran Culkin, is totally ignored and otherwise forced to wait on the rest of the family for the most part. Does anyone agree that the next sequel should be "Son of the Father of the Bride" a thriller about a young man who wanders around killing happy young couples because he was so neglected in his own family?
Third, when the story isn't being told through voiceovers, it consists entirely of horrible pregnant women cliche scenes ("HPWCS's") such as the "strange craving" scene, the "breathe, honey, breathe" scene, and "husband looks at giant pants" scene. Har-dee-har-har! Where do they get this stuff?
It all makes me very sad, really, because I love Steve Martin. "The Jerk," "L.A. Story," "Parenthood," "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid," and "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" were all terrific movies. I even had a chance to see his play recently ("Picasso at the Lapine Agile." Check it out, it's intelligent and funny). For some reason, Steve insists on doing this kind of crap about every other year and I end up watching movies the likes of this one and "Mixed Nuts." Please, Steve, I implore you. You can't need the money this bad.
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