Blues Brothers 2000
Reviewed by Fred Parsons
Rating: 8 Beans
his movie sucked. That pretty much sums up the whole film. You would think that after such flops as Leave it to Beaver and The Little Rascals, Hollywood would realize that there are just some things you can't revive. This is the case for Blues Brothers 2000. The simple fact of the matter is this: No John Belushi = No Blues Brothers.
You can tell what a bowser this is going to be by just looking at the poster. There is a friggin KID in the movie! For the love of God, hasn't Hollywood learned that kids belong in childrens films, not in films geared toward adults. The kid, named "Buster" (how quaint), ends up being some troubled child that Akyroyd gets stuck looking after. I thought for a moment that I was watching the sequel to Cop and a Half. Please, leave the kiddies for Disney. Okay, then you've got the black guy who was in Terminator 2, Joe Morton. They could have left this character out completely and no one would have noticed a difference. He is a cop who for some reason enlists every law enforcement agent in Illinois to pursue Akyroyd and his gang of misfits in a completely outlandish pursuit scene. He ends up in a revival down in Mississippi where he "sees the light" and joins the Blues Brothers Band. A completely hokey and ridiculous turn of events. I hope this movie doesn't ruin Morton's career, he was good in T2. Just reviewing this movie makes me have to pop a Rolaids.
The next character is Mighty Mack McTeer, played by John Goodman. I thought that McTeer was going to be a pretty good addition, boy was I wrong. Mighty Mack was a wimp for christs sake. He acted goofy like some pre-teen kid who just fell in love for the first time. I was completely disgusted with Goodman's character. He was a bartender at some strip club where Elwood (Aykroyd) knew the owner. And of course, the classic movie cliche of the 90's was present, the Russian Mafia. Hollywood is obsessed with the Russian mafia and uses it whenever the "villan gap" hasn't been filled. Had Star Wars been made in the 90's, Luke would have been fighting Ivan Vaderski of the evil Russian mafia Empire or some nonsense. So Goodman joins the band, gee I didn't see that coming, because he can do something, I forgot to be honest. And last but not least, we have Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd).First thing you notice is his accent. I can't figure out exactly what it is. Half of the time he speaks, you can't understand what the hell he is saying. Anyway, he is trying to raise money for an orphanage so he gets the old band members, and I mean 'old', and goes down to New Orleans for a battle of the bands type of thing. This is where it gets absolutely ridiculous. The producers try and intertwine some magical stuff into the movie. Absolutely ridiculous. Its as if they were under budget and decided to get some fancy computer graphics so they wouldn't have any excess money. Stupid! Anyhow, they [the Blues Brothers Band] do battle with a band that I guess would be like the all star blues band. You see some familiar faces like Eric Clapton, Paul Shaffer (who tries to imitate a cajun accent....blah!), and Lou Rawls, and a whole bunch of others.
I won't ruin it for you by telling the ending because its already ruined at the beginning. It wouldn't have been so bad had they changed the plot and characters around completely. As I was leaving the theater, I felt like I was having a seizure. I saw friends beating the piss out of each other because one of them suggested going to see this movie. The theater employees hated cleaning up after this dog was shown because there was so much crap on the movie screen from where people threw popcorn, soda, and Hot Tamales. It was such a disapointment that I know John Belushi is spinning in his grave. John Landis, the director should be lobotomized for this creation. I know this is harsh, but when you spend $15 on a movie, you expect it to be above the likes of Speed 2 and Spiceworld. This movie is basically a waste of time, money, and effort.
Its safe to say this: I would rather ride naked on a bicycle with no seat down a bumpy road, than see this movie ever again.
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