Blood Sucking Freaks
Reviewed by James Cochrane
Rating: 3.5 Beans
can’t say for sure if the version I watched was Unrated or not- the cassette said nothing and was so old Troma Studios hadn’t even picked it up yet. Though I watched it anyway; and the universe kept on spinning; baby’s we’re born; Junkie’s overdosed and people did things the world over. I sat, alone, in the dark, waiting for what goodies I had in store for me. Recently I picked up Mr. Lloyd Kaufman’s autobiography and in it it mentions a spray of background on Bloodsucking Freaks ‘Probably the most fucked up film in the Troma catalogue’ his words. To say the least. This flick is, without a doubt, one of the strangest, I have seen in a while, only on par with the classic 1000 Maniacs for absurdity.
Master Sardu (Seamus O’Brien) is into the beauty of Grand Guignol, complete with actual death scenes by non-union actors (I might add). At a Grand Gala performance of the death and torture of a naked girl, Sardu is ridiculed by the audience members, including respected Theatre Critic Creasy Silo (Alan Dellay). Plagued by this Sardu with the help of his midget sidekick Ralphus (Luis De Jesus) decides that Ballet is the way to go- they shut down for a week, kidnap Natasha D’Natalie (Viju Krem) the worlds’ most elite Ballerina and the Theatre Critic in preparation for ‘The Seduction & Death of a Critic’. Sigh
I loved the grim 70’s darkness of this flick (am I revealing too much of myself?). I loved the ingenious torture scenes (ie: Playing darts with the backside of one of the many young nubiles Sardu keeps in his basement: billed as ‘THE CAGED SEXOIDS’) I loved how everyone involved with Blood Sucking Freaks was able to take everything so seriously like their careers’ we’re going to HIT the Big Time after this. YET, only Luis De Jesus made it to the top- look for him in Return of the Jedi as Ewok #20. The perfect movie to rent if you don’t want and ladies coming over on ‘Poker Night’.
“Uhh, honey, well the movie’s about Sado-Masochistic Necrophiles putting on a ballet. What you don’t want to come- okay maybe another time”
Then break out the beer and pizza and whatever illegal substances you can find and sit back and enjoy. I’m getting giddy thinking about the dinner table scene –Brilliant- Brilliant.
Ralphus: About my Billing?
Sardu: Don’t talk to me about billing. I thought you gave all that up when you left the William Morris Agency? Actors.
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