Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens
Reviewed by Patrick Brogan
Rating: 1 Beans
h, Russ Meyer, "King Leer" as what he has been called, he has also been called a porno filmmaker, a sleeze director, but he just wants to be known as a cinema director. But of the adult film directors that I have seen, Russ Meyer is like the Burt Reynolds character of Jack Horner in BOOGIE NIGHTS.
You watch a Meyer film for the T & A, but you also would like to see how the film turns out, since there is a story to his films. But Meyer's tradmark isn't the plot for his stories, but that all of his women have large,...uh.... how should I put this.... assets. Or all of his women are large breasted. He was even paied homage on Seinfield when Jerry notices that at his regular coffee shop
hang out, all of the waitress' were large breasted.
Jerry replies with this, "oh my god! It looks like a Russ Meyer film!" And other directors from Tim Burton and John Landis have paid tribute to King Leer.
What's a shame is that for over twenty years, Russ Meyer has been promising us a new movie, and we have yet to seen it. I mean, you thought Stanley Kubrick and Terrance Malick were bad, Meyer
still holds the record. His last movie came out in 1979 titled BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA-VIXENS, a soft porn film that does have plenty of comedy, dim-wits, and yes, nudity. ULTRA-VIXENS plot is simple, house wife Lavonia (Kitten Natividad) is aroused and wants attention from her busy husband Lamar (Ken Kerr). In their first scene, Lavonia lies completely nakes as she is trying her hardest to arouse her husband, but that dim-wit Lamar is too busy paying the bills. So a door to door salesman of women erotic toys, Semper Fidelis (Michael Finn) offers her a change of personality, to become house wife Lovonia, to stripper Lola Langusta. While at Lamar's job at the junkyard, he is sexually harassed by his busty boss, Junkyard Sal (June Mack). In the meantime, Lavonia or Lola is getting it on with the garbage man, druged Lamar, and a young track runner Rhett (Steve Tracey) who is the first 14 year old that I've seen with a receeding hair line. Lamar feels that he and his wife need marriage counseling, so they visit Asa Lavender (Robert Pearson) who is both a counseler and dentist (don't ask). While Lavonia tries to seduce the queer Asa, Lamar "gets it on" with Asa's busty nurse/secretary Flovilla Thatch (Sharon Hill). Then it's a bizarre and funny scene as Asa tries to break down the locked closet door with the pants-less Lemar, as Flovilla and Lavonia "get it on" with Flovilla's favorite toy of a double sided 12 inch male organ. All this while, Eufuula Roop (Ann Marie) a gospel radio host talks about saving souls and salvation as she jiggles. And the narrator or Man From Small Town U.S.A. (Stuart Lancaster) tells the viewer about the people who reside in Small Town.
This is a T & A movie at one of it's best! Unlike any of the modern T & A films that appear on SkinaMax or USA up all night, these jokes are funny.
A example is a scene where to stop Mr. Peterbuilt from strangling Lamar, Lavonia takes the shade off a lamp and has the light bulb touch the bare testicles of Peterbuilt, heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! And of course Meyer has extreme close ups of female brests and well, pubic area, and well as extreme
close up now and then of the male organ. But with each close up, a joke usually follows. But unlike most of Meyer's previous films, ULTRAVIXENS has more shots of female nudity, than any of his other films, especially the pubic area. But then again, starlet Kitten Natividad was Meyer's love intrest at the time of filming.
But also like a Meyer film, there is violence, but Meyer has a different touch. His violence is both realistic and comical. There is punching and use of tools as weapons, but people bleed green or yellow blood. And each of the male character's are, well hung, like a horse. That's the comedy part of Meyer's.
Meyer's is shunned by some critics, but other critics, including friend Roger Ebert, see
Meyer as a cinematic genius. And in a way Meyer is a cinematic genius. His work isn't memorable like Orson Wells or John Huston. But they are landmarks
with filmmaking, they are the first to mix hard core
sex with a real plot instead of set ups for the next sex scenes like most adult films. We can only hope and wait for Meyer to make his long return comeback with his next anticipated film. But until then, ULTRAVIXENS is a good start to see the humor and erotic side or Russ Meyer. Guys, this is a good movie to watch with your frat buddies as a change of pace of the usual cinema art. Check it out if you can!
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